...commentary coming soon...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
"Red Shoes" drawing
This item is currently for sale. $130 plus S&H matted, $100 plus S&H unmatted. Contact me at anibenchosa@gmail.comAnother of my pin-up series of girls. This one, as well as "Angel" is from A.C. (American Curves); the model is Hannah Owens. There is something about her that struck me - a blend of vulgar innocence. I'm not entirely happy with this picture as I wanted her feet to be a focus but when I did the enlargement I miscalculated. However, I plowed forward because I'm too lazy to erase and recenter the grid. I changed her shoes from the original ones she was wearing to the ones she's wearing; and yes, I will admit to having a bit of a foot fetish. Weird, eh? I should give credit to the photographer too - I just don't know his name. Sorry. [Note: No, this model is not naked.]
The pin-ups are a phase right now - I'm obsessed with portraits and half-naked women which seems to go with the prison experience. I am trying to get back to my comic book roots. In my youth I would spend hours drawing from the old Marvel comic books. It's where I got the "style" of most of my original work; I can't seem to escape the 1970's style of composition. Anyways, I babble. My hair is still deficient and I wish I had the guts to work from beginning to end in charcoal. Right now it is a matter of economics. If I did more salable portraiture work for people in here I could make enough to cover my expenses. I've always resisted selling my work - I feel like an art "whore"! Not to mention the loss of creative control. I don't know where I equated commercialism with prostitution because G.K. (Adoptor) was all about the Benjamins. When it became obvious that my defects in character were going to preclude my being a suitable heir, he would always relate my worth to him in terms of how much I costed to house, clothe, and feed. Unfortunately, I still see my own self worth in those terms.
"Angel" drawing
I did my best to not copy another source, in plagaristic terms; I wanted to change my source material sufficiently so as to not trample another person's intellectual property rights. I added the wings. It's difficult for me to see women artistically as other than sex-object good or sex-object evil. I just don't see the point - art is supposed to polarize, divide, and reduce. When I see art of women just sort of being...human, I respond with a, "feh". It does nothing for me. It's very disconcerting to not be able to connect/translate other emotional states either intrapersonally or artistically.
Untitled Buxom Blonde
This is only interesting as being the very first drawing I did following my recent segregation experience. For a time I had a huge crush on this girl (so much so I've forgotten her name! :( ) which is odd for me since neither blondes nor large breasts have ever been all that alluring to me on a personal level. What captivated me was her gumby-like flexibility (funny I should draw her in a completely non-flexed state), and her look of utter disdain for the viewer. I love a girl that gives a good "what-are-you-looking-at-you-insect" type of stare. Her disdainful sneer really gets me in a way I think some men could related to. Yeah, I've really got to stop talking about my issues with women.
"Black Shoes" Drawing
This item is currently for sale. $130 matted plus S&H. $100 unmatted plus S&H. Contact me at anibenchosa@gmail.com
"Black Shoes" is probably one of my favorites that I’ve produced if only for the fact that almost everything went right with it. Portraits are not my strength – I just don’t have the “eye” for them. Recently, however, I found some tricks of the trade that seem to work for me.
While I’m quite arrogant enough to believe that I invented these techniques, I know that I didn't and it's just that I only recently started using them. I use a grid to transfer the basic shapes of a face to the drawing surface and begin with the eyes paying attention to shape width and angle. Once I read that the eyes are the key to a good portrait. So true. Who’d a thunk it? It’s as easy as that for me: start with the eyes. This is sort of a snapshot of how I learn. I can be told something time and time again, but until my mind is open to the lesson I can’t be taught. I don’t know how true that is for people in general or if it is more specific for someone of my background.
This picture marked the first time that I used charcoal pencils. Going far beyond graphite tends to intimidate me. I hate being out of my comfort zone so much so that I usually refuse to even try something I might fail at. Color is an enduring mystery to me. I have a huge box of Prismacolor Verithins that all have their pointy points still intact. Don’t get me wrong, I am intensely curious about color, but fear the steep learning curve and failing at achieving the effects that I want. Charcoal always attracted me because of the intensity of the black. It just pops. I don’t like that it doesn’t hold a point very well and is somewhat unforgiving – sketching isn’t my thing. I guess that I was open to adventure when I drew this. All things considered I like this picture a lot. I will not say anything about how it portrays women, but I am not unaware of the issue.
I remember being somewhat uneasy about this picture for a number of reasons. Putting aside the issue of the objectification of women, a subject I am keenly aware of, there is the fact that the woman bears a close likeness to a correctional officer that works here. That was not intentional; it just happened. I didn’t alter the picture to look like her – I used a photograph as my model and this is how the woman looked. I don’t know the photographer or the name of the model so although I wish that I could give credit where it’s due unless someone out there supplies me with that information I’ll just say that it came from a photograph originally published in “American Curves” magazine. I have found this magazine to be an endless treasure trove of inspiration. Because of restrictions placed by the DOC upon what books can contain (no nudity) it is hard to find a photo reference book of human anatomy that isn’t geared for the comic book/manga artist. “A.C.” fits that bill perfectly.
My drawing has been evolving along with me. I first was attracted to drawing from my interest in comic books, and many of my favorite artists work in the industry, yet I don’t think that it offers me what I want from drawing. I was commenting recently to a friend that if I had a fully stocked studio and access to all the reference materials that I needed then I could happily draw eight to ten hours a day. I have a thousand ideas in my brain but something always seems to limit my ability to produce them whether it be lack of talent and technique or working around my cellie’s schedule – something is always there to stop me.
Posted by Ani at 5:23 PM
6 comments:
Sally said...
Ani, you said "This is sort of a snapshot of how I learn. I can be told something time and time again, but until my mind is open to the lesson I can’t be taught. I don’t know how true that is for people in general or if it is more specific for someone of my background."It is my belief this is a universal truth. This is how all humans learn. I think this is where "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" comes from. None of us can learn anything until we are ready. Then when we are ready we suddenly 'see' (understand) something in a new and different way, at a different level that now has meaning for us.I'm really glad you pushed yourself to go outside of your comfort zone Ani and try charcoal pencils. I think the result in this picture is stunning. You certainly have a talent for drawing regardless of which tricks you used! Maybe one day you will feel adventurous and comfortable enough to dabble in colour and maybe you won't. Makes no difference. I think your black and white pictures are amazing. Too much for one post, will have to split it. Read on ...
October 22, 2009 10:10 PM
Sally said...
With regard to: "I was commenting recently to a friend that if I had a fully stocked studio and access to all the reference materials that I needed then I could happily draw eight to ten hours a day."I have recently purchased a book (and audio) called Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley. It very much falls compliments many of the other life philosophies I believe in, which pretty much all say the same thing. The basic premise of the book is that thoughts become things. Before anything can manifest in our physical reality it has to first be thought of. Example: before the Wright Brothers had the thought that it was possible for man to fly, everyone thought and said it was impossible. The reality of man flying through the air had to be preceeded by the thought that it was possible otherwise it never would have been possible. We take flying for granted today. We are so used to seeing planes in the air. That the idea of flying no longer stretches our credulity at all. But back then, when they first thought about it, the belief in society that it wasn't possible would have been so strong. Can you imagine, daring to dream of flying when the laws of gravity quite obviously defied this possibility. So with this philosophy fresh in my mind I'd just like to say that your dream of having a fully stocked studio and drawing for 8 - 10 hours a day is a wonderful dream to have and there is no reason that this dream cannot come to pass. Maybe your studio will be your cell in prison or an art room in the prison dedicated to those inmates who want to draw or maybe it will come to pass one day when you are out of prison. This detail is not important in your dream of it. The feeling of being able to draw and having every tool you need at your fingertips is what is important about the dream.I belive that the only thing that truly limits our ability to do anything is our own limiting beliefs about it. When it really comes down to it that's what limits us. We are all programmed with hundreds of them from birth. It takes practice and awareness to find out what some of our limiting beliefs are. But it can be fun and really surprising too. "I have a thousand ideas in my brain but something always seems to limit my ability to produce them whether it be lack of talent and technique or working around my cellie’s schedule – something is always there to stop me."So maybe work on your belief that something will always stop you. Try to catch yourself thinking "there it goes again, something to stop me from drawing my ideas. I knew it would happen, it always does." Think instead "wow there I go again, thinking negative thoughts, placing limiting beliefs on myself. You know what this is just a temporary glitch in proceedings. I'm stumped because I don't know the proper technique to do xxx. What can I do about that? I'll ask Jackie to look up xxx and find out how to do it, then I can move forward with this idea. That's really exciting. I can find a way to keep moving with this. I don't have to be stopped by it." You most certainly don't lack the talent Ani, the technique can be learnt and your cellie's schedule can be worked around. Go for it!Sally
October 22, 2009 10:10 PM
roxmarie23 said...
Hi Ani,I just wanted you to know I'm a friend of Jackie's and I have been following your blog. I am impressed with your drawing skills and your humor, particularly about Jackie (the clamicidal maniac). I will not likely be as helpful as Sal, but I will be out here just the same, reading and learning from you and your life experiences. Take care.Rox
November 8, 2009 11:23 AM
Ani said...
Thank you Sally and Rox, for your comments. Thank you for your time and interest. I will soon be adding more stories about the clamicidal maniac.Ani
November 9, 2009 9:03 AM
Anonymous said...
Ani I have no training in art, but I do think that your drawing is very good.I found your blog, somewhat by accident and have read your post with some interest. It would be wrong for me to make judgements regarding your life, but from my perspective, I believe that reality and truth is often the midpoint between the perception of two people. It is good that you are trying to take responsibility for your actions.I hope that you will find peace in your life.
November 28, 2009 4:24 AM
Ani said...
Dear Anonymous -Thanks for your thoughtful words. I will respond in more depth when I have a chance to think more about what you said.Ani
November 28, 2009 9:24 AM
Posted by Ani at 5:23 PM
6 comments:
Sally said...
Ani, you said "This is sort of a snapshot of how I learn. I can be told something time and time again, but until my mind is open to the lesson I can’t be taught. I don’t know how true that is for people in general or if it is more specific for someone of my background."It is my belief this is a universal truth. This is how all humans learn. I think this is where "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" comes from. None of us can learn anything until we are ready. Then when we are ready we suddenly 'see' (understand) something in a new and different way, at a different level that now has meaning for us.I'm really glad you pushed yourself to go outside of your comfort zone Ani and try charcoal pencils. I think the result in this picture is stunning. You certainly have a talent for drawing regardless of which tricks you used! Maybe one day you will feel adventurous and comfortable enough to dabble in colour and maybe you won't. Makes no difference. I think your black and white pictures are amazing. Too much for one post, will have to split it. Read on ...
October 22, 2009 10:10 PM
Sally said...
With regard to: "I was commenting recently to a friend that if I had a fully stocked studio and access to all the reference materials that I needed then I could happily draw eight to ten hours a day."I have recently purchased a book (and audio) called Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley. It very much falls compliments many of the other life philosophies I believe in, which pretty much all say the same thing. The basic premise of the book is that thoughts become things. Before anything can manifest in our physical reality it has to first be thought of. Example: before the Wright Brothers had the thought that it was possible for man to fly, everyone thought and said it was impossible. The reality of man flying through the air had to be preceeded by the thought that it was possible otherwise it never would have been possible. We take flying for granted today. We are so used to seeing planes in the air. That the idea of flying no longer stretches our credulity at all. But back then, when they first thought about it, the belief in society that it wasn't possible would have been so strong. Can you imagine, daring to dream of flying when the laws of gravity quite obviously defied this possibility. So with this philosophy fresh in my mind I'd just like to say that your dream of having a fully stocked studio and drawing for 8 - 10 hours a day is a wonderful dream to have and there is no reason that this dream cannot come to pass. Maybe your studio will be your cell in prison or an art room in the prison dedicated to those inmates who want to draw or maybe it will come to pass one day when you are out of prison. This detail is not important in your dream of it. The feeling of being able to draw and having every tool you need at your fingertips is what is important about the dream.I belive that the only thing that truly limits our ability to do anything is our own limiting beliefs about it. When it really comes down to it that's what limits us. We are all programmed with hundreds of them from birth. It takes practice and awareness to find out what some of our limiting beliefs are. But it can be fun and really surprising too. "I have a thousand ideas in my brain but something always seems to limit my ability to produce them whether it be lack of talent and technique or working around my cellie’s schedule – something is always there to stop me."So maybe work on your belief that something will always stop you. Try to catch yourself thinking "there it goes again, something to stop me from drawing my ideas. I knew it would happen, it always does." Think instead "wow there I go again, thinking negative thoughts, placing limiting beliefs on myself. You know what this is just a temporary glitch in proceedings. I'm stumped because I don't know the proper technique to do xxx. What can I do about that? I'll ask Jackie to look up xxx and find out how to do it, then I can move forward with this idea. That's really exciting. I can find a way to keep moving with this. I don't have to be stopped by it." You most certainly don't lack the talent Ani, the technique can be learnt and your cellie's schedule can be worked around. Go for it!Sally
October 22, 2009 10:10 PM
roxmarie23 said...
Hi Ani,I just wanted you to know I'm a friend of Jackie's and I have been following your blog. I am impressed with your drawing skills and your humor, particularly about Jackie (the clamicidal maniac). I will not likely be as helpful as Sal, but I will be out here just the same, reading and learning from you and your life experiences. Take care.Rox
November 8, 2009 11:23 AM
Ani said...
Thank you Sally and Rox, for your comments. Thank you for your time and interest. I will soon be adding more stories about the clamicidal maniac.Ani
November 9, 2009 9:03 AM
Anonymous said...
Ani I have no training in art, but I do think that your drawing is very good.I found your blog, somewhat by accident and have read your post with some interest. It would be wrong for me to make judgements regarding your life, but from my perspective, I believe that reality and truth is often the midpoint between the perception of two people. It is good that you are trying to take responsibility for your actions.I hope that you will find peace in your life.
November 28, 2009 4:24 AM
Ani said...
Dear Anonymous -Thanks for your thoughtful words. I will respond in more depth when I have a chance to think more about what you said.Ani
November 28, 2009 9:24 AM
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